Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The ONE event that made me HATE public schools

After reading the article"What I See", I decided that today I would blog about the ONE major event in high school that made me HATE public schools and helped make the decision that I will NOT send my children to one, unless I had no choice and I was "in their business" when it came to my children.

In high school, I wanted to go to law school and I wanted to make a difference in life.  I was motivated to apply for EVERY scholarship so that I could attend the University of Arkansas. I planned to attend Black River Technical College, then go to Arkansas State University, then to Law School.  But I wanted to look at my other option of going straight to the University of Arkansas. Yes, it could be a failed attempt and I knew that BUT I wanted the chance to apply and try. It is better to have tried and fail than to never try at all.

According to
"High school guidance counselors work face-to-face to help students evaluate their abilities and interests. They help them see their talents and personality characteristics to help them develop academic goals that will lead to sound career aims. Counselors also use such things as aptitude assessment tests to advise students. "
Well when I went to my counselor (we will call her Mrs. PB) I was DISCOURAGED from even applying.  I was even encouraged to NOT try to become a lawyer.  WOW, this is isn't right.  I had all the abilities to make it and I still do. I gave up on dreaming of becoming a lawyer ALL because I was discouraged from trying.  Those words of this "Christian" (outside the public school system) counselor destroyed a dream. (Side note: In a small town, you know everyone's life events and religious affiliation. And there is ALWAYS favoritism toward certain families and certain students.) Apparently, Mrs. PB didn't know the Bible, the tongue can bring life and death. What you speak into a child's life and either bring them to life or it can destroy them!

Am I mad at her? No! Unknowingly, she has shaped my life in a way she never intended:

1) I will NEVER send my children to a public school. They will either be homeschooled or attend a private school. It was Sister Judie Wasson in Hawaii that showed me the benefits of homeschooling and a small private school environment. It was her and the ministry team in Hawaii leading and guiding in my early years as an apostolic, that gave me the solid foundation in Christ that I have. It was also her friendship and mentorship that encouraged and strengthened me to NEVER GIVE UP, TRUST GOD, and to love children with all my heart.
2) If I had gone straight to UofA, I would have NEVER met my husband and we would have never become an Army family. Being in the Army has given our family the chance to travel, the ability to minister in multiple churches, to meet new people, and to build friendships that are worldwide.
3) I would have NEVER moved to Hawaii, where we ministered in our local church (Abundant Life UPC). We learned so much about ministry and loving people during our time in Hawaii. It was also these fine people that encouraged us during those rough years of marriage: the beginning. They helped us make it through our first deployment. They gave us the foundation of our ministry: LOVE PEOPLE! (Thanks BC, Sister Nikki, Sister Judie and Pastor Wasson) We reached out to the homeless, the needy, the hungry. I could write an entire book about what this first church did for us. The scenery and the culture is something that I will NEVER forget. I got to hike mountains, walk through rain forests, see a volcano, walk on a Black Sand Beach, touch a dolphin, see a sea turtle up close on a beach, swim in the ocean, determine that I can not surf, try new foods and LOVE IT. I have friendships that will last a lifetime in Hawaii. (The Wassons, The Conyer's, The Whippo's, The Bell's, The Veal's, The Bellinger's, AND SO MANY MANY MANY MORE... I can't name everyone. I wish I could.)
4) I WOULD HAVE NEVER GOT TO STUDY AT CHAMINADE UNIVERSITY HAWAII. Mrs. PB: It was so much better to study psychology while sitting on the beach or the lawn than in a class room. Oh I changed by major. I want to become a motivating counselor to help others become who THEY WANT TO BE and to solve any problems they are facing.  I also will one day specialize in ADHD and helping parents deal with it WITHOUT medicine.
5) I would have NEVER been able to work in a private school to discover my love for children's ministry and the joy of helping others. (Thanks Sister Judie for giving me the opportunity to work and learn so much.)
6) I would have NEVER met Sister Judie, who introduced me to Dr. Laura Schlessinger as a listener. By listening to Dr. Laura I have learned the VALUE and the NECESSITY of a PROFESSIONAL MOM (aka Stay at Home Mom.)
7) My mother would have never got to visit Hawaii 3-4 times. My grandmother would have never visited Hawaii. They would have never flown on a plane, snorkeled in the ocean, and see the remains of WWII that only military personnel and guest can see. (Being military we can go places civilians can't go.)  My grandmother got to walk on the USS Missouri the SAME ship that her brother served on many years before.
7) I would have never moved to Colorado where my husband is building our ministry. We have a church who we love and they love us (when on vacation we get calls, texts, and emails "When are you coming home?"-UMOT we love you!). Sister Turpin is also a homeschooling mom who has strengthened my abilities to homeschool my children. Pastor Turpin has given us the ability to minister in the Sunday School department and in the Youth Group.
8) I would have never been able to experience Colorado and winter sports.  I would have never seen the top of Pike's Peak. I would have never experienced a blizzard and freezing temperatures. In February, we will be going skiing and snowboarding. I will get to vacation at Estes Park in February, also. I've been to Aspen and Breckenridge.
9) I would never have learned about Dave Ramsey. We were introduced to his teachings and course several years ago by an Army Chaplain.
10) I will graduate from a university with my psychology degree. I'm not doing it anytime soon, but that is because I choose A) not to abandon my children to daycare and B) I will go to school DEBT-FREE I will not have $1000's in student loans. I will attend one class at a time if I have to.
11) I have learned to set my own standards and not worry about what others think. BE POSITIVE even in the storm. These are high standards. I don't back down to the status quo.  Most people don't want to "rock the boat".... I want to be the iceberg that sank the Titanic. I will challenge people's thinking and I will challenge the standard that is set before me. I don't settle for less, we can do better. I will not accept "the way things have always been". I don't have to react, I will respond to my life.
12) Most importantly:  I learned NEVER accept what "an authority" figure says as truth WITHOUT first researching it thoroughly. Most people say "immunizations don't harm" actually my son is allergic to them. Most people say "homeschooling harms kids" actually homeschooled children are smarter than public school children.
13) Second most importantly: I have learned how NOT to be a feminist and how to work and pursue my dreams AROUND my family not my family around my dreams.

So Mrs. PB, while you discouraged me and it was WRONG! You actually set me up to do more than I was going to be able to do then. You have made the world and my children's lives better. I will not have to subject my children to the damaging effects of public school and negative people. My children will not become delinquents because I will set high standards for them and I will be an active role in their lives. I will be there encouraging, motivating, and guiding them.  Should they become troubled teens, they will get to experience the joys of military school. Of course, this will be after much intervention from me and their father.

Be careful of what you speak to a child, who knows who and what they will become one day.

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